My friend Valerie went in to have a tooth pulled a few weeks ago. She ended up experiencing what’s called “dry socket,” and it infected. We went to see a local church’s “Singing Christmas Tree,” and she told me that ten days of antibiotics hadn’t worked. She said she’d never had trouble with her sinuses before, but she was feeling terrible pressure and pain all through her sinuses. I told her to tell the dentist she needed a different antibiotic. She said she would.
That was the last I heard from her until I got a message from a mutual friend saying Valerie was in a coma in the hospital. She’d been found comatose on her floor at home and rushed to the hospital, where a CT scan revealed her brain had ‘shifted.’ Emergency neurosurgery was performed. The diagnosis? A ‘brain infection.’
That was two weeks ago. She has since come out of the coma, but is still in the hospital and had to have another surgery on her brain, because the infection is the kind that comes back….
At the beginning, the doctors were not optimistic. They told the family to contact her friends and other relatives. Now, they believe she will survive, but whether she’ll ever be ‘her old self,’ remains in doubt. The family doesn’t know what to do with her when she’s discharged; they’re talking nursing home.
Valerie is 56. She shouldn’t be going to a nursing home. No one at 56 should be going to a nursing home. How did this happen?
I want my friend back. I want to hear her laugh and talk and share pictures of her grandchildren.
This is hard. My friend had a tooth pulled, which led to a brain infection, which she may never totally recover from.
Jesus said “In the world, you’ll have tribulation (trouble), but be of good cheer–I have overcome the world.” I believe that. Valerie believes it. I know that, ultimately, in God’s providence, all will be well.
But for now–it’s still hard.SnowyRoad_08


About raincountrywriter

Child of God, freelance writer, horse lover.
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4 Responses to Sorrow

  1. Peggy Larson says:

    In our hearts we know in all things give thanks but our minds think that is too much Lord. I believe in my heart but my mind tells me different. That is the dilemma we often face in difficult times. But I believe God understands and says it’s ok, just let me carry you until you can walk in my joy on your own. I know it is your friend that you feel is the hurting one but truly you are too. Give yourself permission to grieve, curl up in His lap and just let him cradle you in his arms and comfort! He is our Heavenly Daddy and he longs to hold us and assure us that he has it all worked out and we can trust him.
    I will be praying for your friend and for you.

    • Thanks, Peggy. With me, it’s kind of the opposite a lot of times. I ‘believe’ in my head, but my heart is not always convinced. 🙂 I know there’s a lot of suffering in the world, but this is one of those times when it’s just been ‘up close and personal.’ We’d just gone out to that Christmas concert the week before. Our pastor spoke recently on what the “fear” of God means: God is here. He has a plan. And He’s in control. Words to live by. 🙂 Thanks for your prayers–I really appreciate them.

  2. Mona says:

    I can relate somewhat to the feelings that you have expressed. This has been a hard year for me as I watched my best friend Tonya pass away from breast cancer. She was 46. Over the years, we had looked forward to seeing our children marry, to holding our first grandbaby, watching to see where the Lord led us and our families on this road of life that we all travel. The Lord had different plans for Tonya than we had envisioned. I can honestly say that the hardest thing I have ever done was to sit at the bedside of my dying friend, the last hug, the final farewell. How hard it is to say as Job did that the Lord gives and takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord. He chose to take Tonya from us and bring her to Himself. In the end, she was excited to realize that though her life on earth was done, the Lord would use her for His honor and glory on the other side! How I thank God for the blessing of her friendship!
    One thing that I can see that God has given your friend Valerie, and that is you as a friend. It sure sounds like she is going to need you now more than ever! With Tonya, I purposed and prayed that the Lord would make me the friend that she needed while she fought for her life. That is my prayer for you with your friend. It a sweet thing to look back and know that you did your best for one that you love so much. For the rest of my life, the only thing that I can do for Tonya is keep a promise that we made to each other a long time ago. We promised when our children were young, that if the Lord took one of us first the other would look after their children. For you with your friend the possibilities are endless! May He guide you and strengthen you, may He show you how to be a great blessing to your friend. I will be praying for you too!

  3. Thank you so much, Mona. Boy, you’ve been through it, too, it sounds like. I’m glad you were there for Tonya and have the joy of knowing you’ll see her again one day. Still, it’s hard to go on without them, isn’t it? I don’t know how God wants to use me in all of this with Valerie. Right now, I’m just so bewildered by it all. I love your example of asking God to help you be the friend you needed to be for Tonya. I’m going to do that, too, because, so often–I don’t have any idea what I should do. 🙂
    Thanks for your kind words and prayers. I’ll be praying for you, your kids, and your influence in Tonya’s kids’ lives, as well. Take care–Dawn

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